She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
