Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
