i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
