New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
