i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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