Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
