Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
