My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
