I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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