were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
