dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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