So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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