peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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