I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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