I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
do herpes really smell.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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