what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
