How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
