She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
