Fine. I'll sleep in my office
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
