highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Randomize
