...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
