Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
