I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
