I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
