U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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