It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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