You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
