O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
