I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
