Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
