They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
