AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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