Your dad touched me again.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
