Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
This is the high leading the old right now
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
