So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize