dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
well you can't waste a boner
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
