Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize