He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
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Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
