I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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