Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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