I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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