You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Randomize
