You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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