Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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