shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
