your parents love me but you hate me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
