Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
