hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
