I wannas sexs uuuuu
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
