I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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