Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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