She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize