i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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