I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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