and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
