...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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