So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think a kid would responsible me up
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
