just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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